Wednesday, 1 February 2012
iX-Chel, “ee shell” -Is her archetype name, have I gone insane?
As a Mayan moon goddess she turns growing pains into revolutionary rain
nourishing mother earth’s fruitFUL crops is part of her domain
Serving a delightFUL taste of consciousness to her increasing fame
Endless Seduction is a healing game
My wish is to help heal the wounds of my brothers and sisters,
and connect with those who are aligned with “We are One Heaven on Earth”,
transforming life as we know it and shifting into a deeper awareness
creating this the most pleasurable mess
This is the RE-birth, of Mother Earth, and it is an honor
to step into my grand awakening role of iX-CheL, as my alter ego.
She is what “Sasha Fierce” is for Beyonce.
Now, where is my caliente mate?
Who is your alter ego and what is her role?
iX-CheL is an exotic, mystical tease and her sexual freedom is at ease
She is graceful around her sexuality, and that is her reality
She’s a powerful healer and loves getting wet
for herself, others, and the world. This is her bet.
An extraordinary, pleasurable and confronting role
and hey, it’s all good if she likes celebrating on a stripper pole!
She allows me to dive deeper into this divine and mysterious sea of life.
UnVeiling before her very own sunRise
At the AVN Expo in fabulous & magical Las Vegas,
She became a vixen of the “late night after hours”
This vixen is a living embodiment
of absolute beauty, radiating sexual divinity and freedom
inherently, twisted with the darkest and most stubborn shameFUL roots
from our collective past, fears, media, and who knows what, or who
Though she radically channels an enchanting Spirit
Her Spirit is not welcomed or accepted at Sunday morning’s mass
Eye SEE: A potent energy suppressed by the masses
Who is the one really harassing and enabling “her-ass to sing”?
Evolve and ditch this “harassing” fling!
It’s time to RE-invent, create, and birth
this divine, enchanting feminine expression
I don’t blame you if you unconsciously
have been part of this suppression
I wasn’t born to appreciate this “vixen of the late night after hours” either
Seeing beyond the “I”, the ego, real-“EYES” ing
She is courageous and brave
even in the middle of Earth’s raves
My mind is open and no longer feels enslaved
Humbled I am to RE-birth and seal this work of art
with muchos B.E.S.O.SÂ as “iXchel”
Special Gracias to Destin,
you have paved the way
for me to experience this unseen
magical and beautiful light ray
This love & trust is a revolutionary bust
â¦.our profound lust! ;)
Time to unplug and dive deep within
In this very moment I choose not to “PMS”
Instead I am in observation within my own flesh
because I long, yearn, for this deep,
intimate connection with the divine feminine energies, and Self
It’s that time again when the moon reveals itself FULLy
An intense portal when I choose to become in sync with the moon,
and use this lunar cycle to connect, recharge, heal, balance, nurture Self
to hold visions for the next cycle of re-birth and restoration
In this reality, I live and create a nation where I value my imagination,
allowing myself to step deeper into the unknown
as I stretch my body and soul, to realize and be.
What a beautiful sacred mess I’ve become
and even though I once liked toxic drinks like Rum
I am choosing a new pure and divine path every moment of the day
One that allows me to explore ancient technology
to heal Self and my environment today
Endless Seduction is an opportunity to consciously let go of
my Ferocious Fears, Silly Shame, and Gruesome Guilt
to be less and less of the old mold,
forgetting the lies I was once told
Every inhale and exhale is a moment closer to my truth
and, no I will never eat poisonous junk like a Baby Ruth,
and YES, please! Pass over those Raw Cacao Goji Chocolate Truffles
now! Meow!
Following my line to the divine, because it’s the time
I pray for the rise of the divine feminine
Allowing her to channel through me
though she’s sometimes confusing
So I wear fabulous rings
to remind me of her pure essence
leaving behind the ego and the rings become my defense
I cherish this divine and ancient universal moon portal connection and cycle
Diving Deep, gaining peace, clarity, and tranquility
Devoting this time to nurture, be in harmony and in sync with MotherEarth
Surrendering and Listening to her teachings
Yes, I’ll have that ring, please! ;)
con amor eterno,
iXchel
An intense week of emotions and releases after launching my very own intimate soul to the public. A week I’ll never forget.
This has been a hell of a ride and I don’t know where to even begin. I will begin with how I feel in this very moment. I am overwhelmed and emotional, and if you know a woman, you know this feeling can change by the next sentence.
Curiously enough, before deciding to embark on this intense journey of sexual exploration, I never gave too much attention to my feelings and emotions, until one day, I discovered their role and the value they add to my life. They have guided me to my self-realization, and have become the secret code to my personal treasure chest.
A week ago, on December 16, 2011, Destin and I launched our teaser video release for our film project, “Endless Seduction: An Initiation into Ecstatic Pleasure…”
Since then, I’ve been swimming, surfing, and have felt close to drowning in a sea of emotions. Emotions that I haven’t felt in a while, emotions that I didn’t know I had, and emotions that feel somehow familiar.
Everything has changed, is changing, and will keep changing, forever.
From the way I look, think, and take care of myself, to the way others reflect back and do the same.
I’ve become a vessel for self reflection around sexuality by doing the most vulnerable thing I could ever do in my life.
As a co-creator of Endless Seduction, I’ve become subject to emotional attack or harm, by taking on a journey in which I launch my own “intimate soul into the public.” I have stepped into an unidentified role in an unknown platform where I share my gifts of being a woman. Gifts that have been suppressed and locked down for thousands of years.
I strongly believe that we are all here to share our own unique gifts with the world. We all have them, and I embrace all of them, including my sexuality.
Today, my sexuality happens to be a gift in my life, which is something I didn’t believe when I had my first accidental orgasm at the age of 5, while climbing the side pole of a swing set. My experience was quite the opposite. My sexuality then was something I was taught to be ashamed of, embarrassed about, and didn’t really know much about or who to turn to for questions.
A few too many painful unconscious choices culminating in the loss of my unborn child from the man I was deeply in love with at the time, led me to the awakening of my spirit and my Initiation to Ecstatic Pleasure began.
After many months of depression and healing from this life changing event, I connected with “mi angel de placer” (angel of pleasure) Destin Gerek, in the early hours of New Year’s Day 2011. Since then we’ve been on the Endless Seduction dance floor. He has become my lover, partner, coach, friend, teacher, enemy, and beloved one who goes by “The Erotic Rockstar.”
As I reminisce and write my first entry a week after the launch, I am listening to the frog outside my home. After a quick google search on frog symbology, I found that its “song heralds the earth’s rebirth and renewal.” I get it. The release was a launch of unknown waves of life clashing at the very depths of my soul.
Before we even launched the video, I was scared out of my mind and was freaking out. I’ve never ever done anything like this before and the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or hurt myself in the process because the truth is I’m simply exploring my sexuality.
Wildly enough, in this exploration there’s an audience. This audience sees, feels, and experiences my sexual exploratory journey through the eyes of a woman who was raised in a conservative traditional Catholic Mexican environment as I confront my very own judgements, guilt, shame, and fears.
After running away from this journey many times, I feel like I was meant to do this project. I know this because it’s the most challenging, confronting, and vulnerable project I’ve ever done in my life. And if there’s one thing I know about myself it’s that I LOVE challenges.
I have a history of breaking records, because I have a passion for testing my personal limits. Breaking records to me is like breaking through paradigms. For the last 13 years, my running career was the platform for me to experience those paradigm shifts. Today, I am no longer training competitively, I am working with a wild, mysterious, and potent energy called sexuality.
Last week’s launch and release of emotions, led me to connect with a beautiful soul sister who was sharing with me in tears that the video was so beautiful and that it changed her life. And emotions of tensity and disconnection from a dear cosmic brother who doesn’t see how this can help me in any way. These individuals both care about me and I love, value, and honor our unique special connection dearly.
Who knows if this is the right thing, or the wrong thing now? All I know is that this is a powerful journey, and I’ve surrendered to my assignment in this present moment in my life. What got me in constant tears for months after the loss of my baby, has now evolved into an explorative sexual journey which you have been seduced to become a part of.
I believe together, as a group of collective conscious creators, we can shift and create a new reality or as I like to say “creality”, in which sexuality is beautiful, sacred, safe, honored, cherished, celebrated, respected, loved, and becomes a portal for spiritual connectivity.
Gracias for joining Destin and I in this journey of “Endless Seduction: An Initiation into Ecstatic Pleasure…”
Namaste,
iXchel
muuahh!
Post-Vipassana shoot…
since then I’ve been on a different foot
.
The Dhamma Brothers documentary
awakened my silent meditation fairy
.
A few heart beats and breaks,
Led this organ to Vipassana Meditation in Joshua Tree
Where I sat in silence for 10 days for free
And practiced Buddha’s ancient technique
to finally BREATHE with the breeze at ease.
.
I saw myself for the first time in 2 years
followed by a few soothing tears
.
I am in love with Self-Discovery
I find its practice to be essential for any relationship,
even the one with my ovaries…
con besos,
iXchel
I’ve never really understood so many men’s aversions to romance.
Knowing that you’d be arriving back to our new home after spending a few days up in LA,
I found so much pleasure in preparing for your arrival.
Going out and getting 18 roses
Creating a heart at our home’s entrance with the petals
Creating a trail of rose petals down the hallway, up the spiral staircase
down another hall and into our room
leading up to our bed
Spreading the remaining petals on the sheets
With a single rose still on its stem laying across the foot of the bed.
Lighting candles
Starting the fireplace
Preparing the lighting to create the right mood
More candles in the bathroom
Running a hot bath to be ready just in time for your arrival
The setup process itself was quite pleasurable
The look on your face when you walked in further made it worth every effort.
Making love to you begins long before the clothes ever come off…
âItâs not always Red Roses & Organic Dark Chocolatesâ¦â¦
Porque corro y me olvido de todo
I run to escape from my own emotional rape
I was frustrated and stressed,
Please donât talk to me, Iâm on my cycle and clearing this damn mess
all I want is to âactual-eyesâ actualize my âvisual-eyesâ visualize while I restâ
allow me to re-store my strength in my hummingbirds nest,
and attract the light for our upcoming flights
I donât claim to be right, I just donât want to fight
Help me end this war and celebrate this moonlight
I regret rejecting and ignoring our daily ritual commitment,
I woke up cold and frustrated on the wrong side of the bed,
and all I can think of was my sacred friend who goes by red.
Affected by your lack of affection, i complained and then it rained
I blamed you when in reality I was the one who didnât communicate to you
about the importance of being warm, fuzzy, and cozy on these special days.
Instead of taking responsibility,
I complanied and blamed you, I know, this is silly.
Frustrated, stressed, and confused I broke my light switch fuse,
I ran away and this growing opportunity was misused.
This ends now.
I am responsible for the ease and dis-ease of my life.
My commitments are mine and Iâm not going to whine.
You are a blessing, and youâre more to me
than any of my favorite rings
we are more than a passionate fling
you are helping me heal my wings
you are my favorite king
eres mi ángel de placer
quiero seguir creando y saber
que esta vida es un placer
esto es Endless Seduction..
â¦.Sometimes itâs Pussy Willows and Spanish Spankinââ
Destin Gerek :: Erotic Rockstar
“When we have conflict our bodies and beings go into a state of contraction, this however is what makes Make Up Sex so damn pleasurable. That contracted state rapidly explodes to a state of massive expansion. And damn does that feel good⦔
besos,
iXchel
I was in an Orgasmic Openings haze after witnessing and experiencing my first hypnotic erotic gaze. This newly profound sensation gave me the inspiration to look on Facebook. We had some friends in common, including a shaman, and only time would tell when I’d see him again.
.
In a New Year’s night of Ecstatic Explorations surrounded by Blissful Beauty, the Salvaje Sagrada in me awakened and she honored the desire for deep Sensual Seductions in my soul. Our eyes locked, the windows to the soul opened, and that sensation she remembered aroused once a-gain. The freaked out distance runner that I am, ran in space and time. His persistance was quicker and covering more distance, came in first before my escape. Our attraction was irresistibly stronger than our chosen former dates and it felt anything but a mistake. This powerful, passionate, and magnetic dance evolved into an Endless Seduction romance.
__
We are iXchel and Destin, two lovers intentionally exploring our sacred sexual desires. A journey of living a life of blissful beauty, ecstatic explorations, sensual seductions, orgasmic openings, and bringing out the salvaje sagrada in you. A story that begins with a powerful hypnotic gaze leading to an electric kiss, and sparking their Endless Seduction…
.
Besos,
iXchel
http://thespgdiaries.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-know-who-i-am.html
I know who I am.
Finally.
I finished my final session with Destin Gerek. For the past four months, I’ve been evolving by leaps and bounds, experiencing unbelievable breakthroughs, changing my personality in incredible ways, and finding the tools to continue this evolution on my own, forever. I’ve connected with my sexual self, which had been compartmentalized and treated with disrespect by me for my life up to now. I got to know this erotic side of me, see how amazing this part of me is, and integrate it into my way of being.
Three weeks ago, I stepped into my ideal self. Three weeks is about how long it takes to integrate a radical shift, and I went through the whole integration process. Then Destin anchored this shift in further in our final session.
Because these shifts have been happening so drastically and so quickly, parts of me are trying to catch up. There’s always been part of me that’s been hesitant to really rock this new me, a certain disbelief that this change could happen so quickly, an urge to “wait and see.”
Aaaahhhh… then today, it clicked. I know who I am. The part of me that’s been wanting to “wait and see” is convinced and diving in.
It’s not like “I’m done now,” it’s just the process of the more cautious side of me accepting this awesome new me. I feel SOLID, more grounded than ever. And that giddy “high” is settling into this awesome inner knowing.
I know who I am.
That part of me that’s been looking outside for “proof,” holding onto doubt, kicking the tires, has made the sale now. I feel this congruence with who I am that I’ve *never* felt.
I know who I am.
And in the process, I gained some insight into how I change. I’ve learned to appreciate that part of me that adopts a “wait and see” attitude. There’s value in that. This isn’t me rejecting the change, it’s me test-driving the change and making sure it’s right for me. I can’t rush that process, only honor it, and I wouldn’t want to get rid of that part of me.
The difference between now and the “old me” is I know I’ve changed. This isn’t a temporary thing. I wasn’t “backsliding,” just investigating, getting to know the new, authentic me. And once that part of me accepted this change, I felt a surge of energy in my heart, a feeling of love that spread all through my body and mind.
So here I am, right after the conclusion of the coaching, “graduating” into my evolved self, much like right after the conclusion of the “Orgasmic Mastery” course I experienced multiple orgasms. Maybe there’s something about giving myself a tangible date for changing that offers that little extra “push” to push my evolution over the final hump to success.
Destin Gerek promised to rock my world. He came through. Everything has come together, almost like magic. Now it’s time for the “new me” to go out and rock the world.
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http://thespgdiaries.blogspot.com/2010/05/crossing-over-into-new-me.html
Crossing Over Into a New Me
A couple days ago, I posted a frustrated entry about how I was making all this progress but wasn’t “being sexy.” That day, I saw Destin Gerek and it was time to make the shift. He asked if I was ready to make the change, and, boy, was I, because I’m totally on the other side now.
He took me through an exercise where I said goodbye to the “old me” and stepped into “Dark Knight,” actually embodied him completely. When I stepped into Dark Knight and felt that shift, I looked back at my old self and it was like the reverse of how I’d been looking at “Dark Knight” all this time.
The transformation’s been… wow. I’m still at times feeling a little “dizzy” from the mindset shift, that’s how profound it’s been. Immediately after the session I felt the difference. I noticed it even when I was shooting a testimonial video for the Orgasmic Mastery course. I used to HATE the way I came off in videos, I always looked stiff and awkward. Looked really solid in these ones. I was openly expressive when I got back in the office, just a different feeling.
I’ve completely shifted my thinking on a lot of things. My mindset isn’t that I’m “aspiring to be sexy” or “becoming more sexy,” but I just am, I feel it very openly and authentically. That colors everything. All the past worries about comparing myself to other men, doubting myself, all the old insecurities about what my wife’s thinking about me, or what any woman is thinking about me, have become this abstract idea instead of this emotionally-charged concept. I found myself thinking “oh yeah, I used to worry about what she’s really thinking… huh… weird,” and just moving on.
On the outside, the changes might seem more subtle – or not, to some people – but there’s this freedom from inhibitions, that what I’m doing is out of choice. There’s connecting without reaching.
Sex felt so… free. This feeling had been building for a while, but it was a total cross-over to this place where I was just in the moment, guiding us on the wave, letting the energy carry us, instead of this feeling of having to direct things to happen, or not happen. In that place, anything can happen and it’s all… amazing, stepping into a whole new level as a man and a lover.
I’m still just beginning to integrate this, feel into that freedom and letting go. I’m just starting to get right with the concept that being an amazing lover was never about being something different, but about fully being and sharing myself, and giving her space to fully be herself, that the only hard part about getting to that level is letting go of the outside BS.
I’m finding myself in this strange and awesome place where I’m asking myself what am I going to do now with my energy, where do I go for a challenge. I don’t ever again have to prove myself or look for approval. Feeling sexy and getting that desire is easy, so what do I do for a challenge now? If I know and feel how sexy and desirable I am, and feel it all around me every day, what should I do now with that part of me which was spending all this energy trying to feel sexy, trying to feel like an amazing lover?
I can actually put my energy toward real challenges, instead of imaginary challenges I’d been creating for myself. That’s a cool new feeling! Yet it also feels like the way things were supposed to be all along. From here, it feels silly that I ever did doubt myself or believe the BS. Whole different perspectives and priorities are emerging. And this is just the beginning of my awesome new life.
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Serena and I will be leading a week-long couples’ workshop retreat in Costa Rica in mid-July, titled: Divine Worship and Sweet Surrender: The Power of Giving and Receiving.
Things are coming along incredibly well for it. Should hopefully have the venue secured by the end of the week. I’m going up to Portland next Wednesday for 6 days as a ‘work trip’. Serena and I are committed to spending the entire week doing two things: working on this project, and ‘practicing.’ ;-)
Practicing involves spending the first 3 days of the trip with me in the role of giver, adorer, worshiper, stepping ever deeper into the role of service, while Serena takes those three days stepping deeper and deeper into her goddess-self, being adored, worshiped, opening and receiving. Then we switch. She spends the next three days stepping into the giving/service-oriented/worshipping/adoring role, and I spend those three days stepping deeper and deeper into my god-self, being adored, worshiped, allowing and receiving.
I’m quite happy with this life that I’m creating for myself. Perhaps you and yours will join us in Costa Rica this summer…
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I read all of his entries. I find them inspiring. You will, too.
Oh, and he happens to be a private coaching client of mine.
;-)
http://thespgdiaries.blogspot.com/
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http://www.eroticrockstar.com/jobs.html
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Robin:
OK, I already had the next question I wanted to ask…then you had me at “ten day Vipassana retreat…”
Was this the first time you had done silent retreat, or had you done other shorter ones first?
Isn’t it just the most amazing thing to have the opportunity to watch your brain spin, go through all of the games in your head, then finally give up?!?!?! (and did you see the Vipassana Prison documentary?)
OK, back on track…WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR WORK!!!!! (What I meant to ask was, What is it that you actually “do”?… but then you got me all hot saying things like Vipassana, quanta, and universal connectedness ***little shudder***)
Destin:
Actually, when I arrived to do my 10-day silent Vipassana retreat, I didn’t really have any clue what meditation really was. If asked, I’d have answered, “Uh… something about counting your breaths?”
Clueless.
Talk about diving in head first!
No, I haven’t seen the film, yet. (FYI, titled “Doing Time: Doing Vipassana”). I’ve been meaning to. Netflix isn’t yet carrying it.
What do I do? So many things. In short, I work with men, women, and couples, helping them release guilt, shame, and fear, and come to a place of being able to fully celebrate their sexuality for its own sake. Not in the needy/grasping kind of way, but rather simply radiating it out, as part of who they are as an alive human being. I work with a coaching program that I’ve developed that I call, “Comprehensive Erotic Evolution, or Unleashing YOUR Inner Erotic Rockstar”. Through this program, I help my clients gain clarity around just what their ideal connection to their erotic self would look like. Who that being would be. And than I help them step deeper and deeper into Being that person. Fun stuff. I recommend it. ;-)
Additionally, I offer a 12-week home-based study course for men called, “Orgasmic Mastery: Take YOUR Sex Life to a Whole New Level!” This course is designed to teach men about how to connect to their erotic energy as an energy and how to work with and play with that energy, rather than feel controlled by it. This leads to such fun things as being able to be fully at choice over when and if they ejaculate, experiencing of Full Body Orgasms, experiencing Non-Ejaculatory Energetic Orgasms, and even Male Multiple Orgasms. Honestly, I’m quite proud of this course. I’ve poured a lot of my time and energy into its development, and now it is affecting men from around the globe.
I also co-teach The Erotic Spirituality Training, with an incredibly powerful, knowledgeable, and experienced Dakini, Triambika (<a href=”http://ecstaticawareness.com” target=”_blank”>http://ecstaticawareness.com</a> ). This training is largely aimed at practitioners and teachers, and has been on-hold for a bit, as Triambika has spent the past 3 months on spiritual retreat in Thailand with her guru of 8 years. Yeah, she’s hardcore. And hot. And one of my more favorite people on the planet. We’ll be teaching this training again come Spring, with a week-long Level 2 certification training following by Summer or Fall.
And then there is the performance art. I play with the Erotic Rockstar persona in a number of public performance-type settings. He is put simply, my own exploration of my ideal erotic self. And what a powerful exploration that has proven to be! I consider him to be just another tool in my mission to transform global sexuality, by simply putting forth a different model of what a sexually empowered man could look like. Be like.
Modeling is a very powerful means of teaching. Perhaps the most powerful.
Which leads us to my last piece…
Erotic Rockstar Productions. This is the video production company that I’ve been working on in the background for the past few years, and is finally coming into fruition. Think hot tantric porn. Cuz really… why doesn’t it exist?
Expect my first offering sometime in 2010.
Yeah, I’m busy. Believe me, I know. I can’t help it. Jesus, if I had the time, you wouldn’t believe all the other shit that’s floating around in my head just waiting to be manifested!
Piece by piece. To quote Ani Difranco, “You have your whole life to do something, and that’s not very long.”
Doing what I can…
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